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Funny Quotes
If you're looking for funny quotes from his top songs, then you're at the right place!
Im sad because i Eat and I eat because im sad
Dear bed, I'm sorry for leaving you. Take me back?
OREOS: first you twist it, then you... Oh, it broke.
"Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me"... "HEYYY!!!" "F**KK"
Dear Mr. Spider, unless you pay rent...you CANNOT live in my house!
Pssshh im good, whaadupppp?
When I was your age, we had 9 planets.
STOP LYING, THAT WAS NOT YOUR LAST PIECE OF GUM.
"Oh, test today!" , " Did u study", " No did you?"," No.... we're F**KED."
"!f yUh t!yp3 Lyk3 Dihs", DON'T TALK TO ME
I hate when i text someone and they only text k back
Good songs always come on when you're near your destination
Your not fat, now shut up
I HATE WHEN MY PARENTS ASK ME WHO I'M TEXTING
I have no idea what you just said so im just gonna say "yeah" and smile
I read the group name, I laugh, I join, I never look at it again
Shut up, The World Won't End in 2012.
63 Notifications Later and I regret Liking Your Status
When I Realized That 3.14 Looks Like "PIE" Backwards, My Mind Was Blown
Come to the dark side... We have cookies.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
I don't mind running into debt. It's running into my creditors that's embarrassing.
Edward isn't a vampire. He lives in a forest, he doesn't eat people and he sparkles... He's obviously a fairy.
Consider power as NOT getting people to obey you but getting people to work in harmony with you with the goal being mutual benefit.
When you raise your arms, your B.O can K.O someone. Please, invest in some deodorant.
Getting older means I no longer have the energy to do many of the things I enjoy in life, for example being awake.
I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days.
The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill out a job application.
Don't marry for money - you can borrow it cheaper.
You know why Fish are so skinny? Because they eat Fish.
Lying about my age is easier now that I sometimes forget what it is.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
I never fail. I just don't always get it right the first 30 times.
I never really learned the difference between what is right or wrong. That's why I automatically assume that whatever I say MUST be right.
I just googled cleveland & google said no matches found the city has disappeared
Anyone who starts a sentence "With all due respect..." is about to insult you.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
How is lindsay lohan ever gonna find a good woman when she is jail? wait....... this might just work out.
Smoking doesn't kill people. People who are trying to quit smoking kill people.
I don't take compliments well. Or criticism. You know what, just don't talk to me.
It is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." I'm talking to you Twi-hards & Beliebers.
Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
A procrastinator's work is never done.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!
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